August 19, 2014

Tis sad I’m having to write this on a silly nanny samsung tablet for my other device has a blackscreen head ache! It may very well be dead, and if thats the case I will get a much better machine with an operating system that isn’t from Microsoft!!! It’s too prone to viruses and idiots.
Yesterday I went with Maggie to a Revival meeting out in Maple Ridge. I was telling Maggie how unclean and messy my place was and how I was having trouble doing it due to my bumb foot and leg, and to that she said, “Oh well, you’ll figure it out,” and then she went walking on into the building, as I could’nt then help but say outloud, “Well she just DOES’NT care!” She didn’t hear me or didn’t want to hear me! I couldn’t help saying it outloud for I was just agahst at the level of dismissal and hardness of heart that I was being shown! I’ve sat in my car before whilst she has told me how she helped clean another newer friend’s place and helped clean for the Pastor’s wife!
Obviously I am just someone she knows for rides and for her own benefit! I drive her to meetings with her not being able to get there by bus but she does’nt givemuch towards the effort of getting there. Five dollars for 3 rides there and back. Money does not grow on trees but she thinks I must be growing them at my place. She has a pension but I don’t have an income. My so called friend was also sucking up to the Pastor and the Pastor’s wife that she gave a braclete to. I found Pastor Elias speaking to me and praying for me the most though, so I think he knows. Maggie had told me that the first night she was there he had asked her what she was doing there!

So in the future I shall have the same attitude of disregard towards my friend for she is not really a friend to me, but just uses me for her own benefit! I see that I have a need for a good friend such that is like Jonathan and David were to each other. I don’t have a friendship like that right now. Though I want my friendship with the Lord to be the best friendship I have ever had, for it is, and I always want it to be too! For who best be Him whoknows what I’m going thru and who can best understand me too.
I forgive my friends but I do see their foibles more and more these days! Tis a time to re-examine my life and also my friends these days. I need to chose better friends that do support me and that don’t persecute me nor tell me what I’m doing wrong all the time either. Another one of my friends thinks that they must be the Holy Spirit to me often tells n
me what they think that I am doing wrong although they forget to look at themselves first. They grew up in a religious home so it must be a learnt behavior. He told me how his parents would close the drapes and fear that the neighbors parties were evil, but no one went over there to find out if it was actually true or not! Religousized folks taught to be the Pharisees of this world, but many times I see that when someone actually does need to be told off they clam up! I was in a Doctors office with them and there was not putting the foot down by them when the Doctor said something very stupid. I myself should’ve ended the meeting but I just sat there until it was over vowing to myself that I’d never come back!

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